Expat Life

Misconceptions of an Expat Wife

October 19, 2015

From the outside looking in my life probably screams stereotypical “Expat Wife” – Yes, I have a ring on my finger and the baby seat in my 4×4 – But don’t always judge a book by it’s cover.

It’s ridiculous but I hate being called an “Expat Wife”. I am an Expat and I am a Wife but I hate the stereotype that goes with it. Whilst many women are content fighting for their spot in the social hierarchy of obnoxious spoilt bitches, we aren’t all like that!

There are so many misconceptions about the Wife Life;

I am rich – Lets blow that out the water straight away! Life is comfortable but we are not rich, far from it. Like everyone else we have bills to pay then a mortgage, nursery fees, financial commitments, groceries etc. And what is left after all that goes towards savings for a future that we can’t even predict.

I am a lady of leisure – Just because I’m not in a 9 – 5 job doesn’t mean that my life is worth anything less than those collecting their salary. Many wives would LOVE to work but we can’t due to visa regulations and red tape in our host country.
Instead I take on the role of home maker. Unfortunately for me that involves longer working hours, 7 days a week, less social interaction and hugely dedcuted salary compared to those in employment.

I’m arrogant – If you jump the queue or block my way whilst I’m wrestling with my toddler who just wants to leave, I will say something. If I see your child being physically aggressive towards my child, I will say something. If you charge me more money purely because I’m white, I’ll say something. If you blatantly talk about me in a language you know I do not understand, I will say something.
It is called manners and if you use yours, I’ll use mine.

All I want to do is spend money- Spa treatments, Shop till you drop, Expensive champagne. Yeah right!! My husband works his ass to provide for us, he works long hours and frequently travels away from home – buying myself a new handbag or shoes won’t stop the loneliness or help when I’m up in the night with a sick child. If I ever thought to fritter away our money with such disregard I would be packed on a one way flight back home.

I have the best life- This is mostly true, I do have a blessed life. But always remember that you only see what I show you – I don’t often show the downside side to my life because I don’t want people to feel bad or only remember the bad things. You don’t see me when I cry, I don’t post when I’ve been harassed and no one hears how lonely this “Wife Life” life can really be.

So please, don’t judge us all in the same category just because we are married to a man who works hard for his family. Some of us actually want to be more than the spoilt rich bitch stereotype.

Until next time,

Heather x

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7 Comments

  • Reply OPNO October 20, 2015 at 8:50 PM

    I really like this post and think it is one of your best;)

    And so true. People forget that people who are publically on the internet (and as themselves not anonymous as we OPNO girls like to be) that saying all the crap in one’s day may not be safe or smart.

    And maybe your personality is one of those strong people who just talk the good anyways all the time;).

    You’ve never come across as spoilt on your blog to me. Maybe someone’s jealous you took your brother out to Al Bustan;) or that we have palm trees and sunshine 90% of the time, and that you have a 4×4 and a decent marriage and a baby. Not all people are that blessed.

    But jealousy and bitterness never gets anyone anything that someone else has… so moral of that story is, rich bitches or wannabe rich bitches should probably choose somewhere other than Muscat on the map to try and floss it or bemoan what others have got;). Muscat isn’t really a flossy kind of place. And this isn’t a flossin’ and over-glossin’ life kind of blog you have…

    And at least those stereotypes are better than the “expat wife—married to an Omani” stereotypes lol;)… You get to be some some flossin’ rich carefree arrogant character… lol while we apparently have mental issues;).

    • Reply Heather October 29, 2015 at 9:26 AM

      Thank you for your kind words. I totally agree with you, I do put a lot of positive images and ideas on my page but not because I’m trying to mislead people into thinking my life is perfect – it is far from that – but because anything else comes across as moaning or boring to read. People do seem to take the sunshine and palm trees and think that life is idyllic, when in reality I’m heading for those palm trees because the sun is scorching me and the palm is the only shade as I melt like a popsicle.

      Haha, we are female though I think we all have the “mental issues” one way or another 😛 x

  • Reply Judith October 29, 2015 at 2:23 PM

    Excellent, well done Heather. We all have challenges and like you I choose to keep them to myself. The world is full of negative stuff, so choosing to be positive to the outside world gets my vote everytime ??

    • Reply Heather October 31, 2015 at 8:20 PM

      Thank you Judith! You are always happy and smiling (unless it’s leg day, ha ha) and it makes you a beautiful person. We don’t want to be the people who drag around their negativity like a lead weight.

      Keep smiling, It makes people wonder what we are up to 🙂 x

  • Reply Erica November 9, 2015 at 11:01 AM

    I loved reading your post! It’s very true what you said – especially the bit about being arrogant when people have no manners (totally justified) and about you not showing the world the downside of life!

    • Reply Heather November 16, 2015 at 8:59 AM

      Thank you Erica, I appreciate your nice words 🙂 It was lovely to meet you the other week, sorry I was a little bewildered that day. x

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